General

Category for those posts that we have no idea where to categorize them.

Google SEO Update: Link Disavow Tool and the End of Modern SEO

Link Disavow Tool

If you follow SEO news at all, you know that Google just recently released their much anticipated link Disavow Tool. And it even sounds sinister. Disavow.

Future?

With this news also comes the news that SEO as we know it might be over. I’m not inferring that the industry will die and the thousands of SEO agencies will crash and burn into obselescence. What I am saying is amidst the chaos that Penguin and this Disavow Tool have caused, SEO will begin to shift to a more social and less spammy paradigm. Whether or not the 1000’s of SEO agencies make the transition or not, is up to how resilient our denial is.

Read More…

Macaulay Culkin has made the list of Top Search Queries for SWS

Melvin and I always knew we were special, but after Google Analytics showed us the top search queries for this site, we realized we’re so much more special than we ever thought.

Here are the top search queries that drove people to our site (we’re just so gosh darn proud and appreciative of our readership community):

 #5 swordfish computer

nothing to be ashamed of when people associate any Hugh Jackman+Halle Berry+John Travolta film with your site, let alone one in which Hugh hacks the mainframe with a gun to his head and a blonde in his crotch

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#4 sweet ass

not too sure where this comes from, or where it’s going

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#3 richie rich logo

we’re proud of this one, and for too many reasons to list. just look at that pic and try not to smile as you nod your head in approval at his face…

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#2 office pranks

perhaps the most relative term on our site…btw, Melvin drinks his own pee. Not true, it was once, and Lloyd told me it was my favorite brand of low-sugar apple juice. Why I thought my favorite brand of apple juice would have been poured into the toilet for later consumption, I dont know. Don’t judge me, the Pabst Blue Ribbon was flowing that night like the salmon of Capistrano. [ChrisFarley]HORSE’S ASS!!![/ChrisFarley].

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#1 fear boners

our new band name

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Here’s a quick step by step on how to view this.

First things first, install Google Analytics if you haven’t. It’s a must. Next, you’ll need to install Webmaster Tools.

 

Then it’s simple, just go to the left navigation bar.

Click Traffic Sources >> Search Engine Optimization >> Queries

View the list of top search queries, complete with Number of Impressions, Clicks, Average Position, and the Click Through Rate (CTR) percentage.

 

 

 

 

And then be enlightened by the information Google gets for you.

We are, once again, so proud of the SWS Community.

Cheers to being awesome.

Cheers again.

And again.

How to Generate Revenue While You Peruse Massage Parlors in Thailand

Since Al Gore invented the internet in the year 2000, businesses have had to adapt to a new ecosystem. You don’t necessarily need the pretty sales person, the sparkly clean shop windows or even the act of being physically present. Yup, the whole thing can be automated so that you can generate revenue while you peruse massage parlors in Thailand.

Get your domain name (www.yourdomainname.com) from someone like GoDaddy (always search for awesome coupons first). Set it up with web hosting and you’re almost up and running (keyword: almost). Install WordPress and be sure to get our suggestions for must-have WordPress plugins (Yoast SEO is essential).  Read More…

How to Take a Dump at the Office

It’s a very challenging hurdle when u need to take a dump at the office.

In case any of you need help,  here are my tips:

1)  Try to take a shit when you initially feel your sphincter contracting. Waiting too long can build up a powerful and obnoxious sounding blast when u finally release

2) As you walk to the Jon, try to act as if everything is ok. Do not act as if you are about to relieve yourself of a 10 couric cannonball.

3) As you enter the Jon, casually scan the parameters to ensure the area is empty Read More…

How to Search for Values in a List Using Excel

It’s a common task for many analysts, and helpful for most people in general, so this post will outline how to search for values in a list using Excel. Let’s say you have a master list in column A. In this example, assume it is a list of current customers who have always paid their bills on time. Now your boss hands you another list, and it’s a list of customers who are late on their current bill. Perhaps they do not want to punish the customers who (to this point) have always paid on time, so it’s your job to find out which of the current ‘late’ customers have historically paid on time. This image below is a simplified version of what you may encounter, but the concept is the same.

Now it’s your job to find out if the late customers (Albert, Missy or Dick) have been good customers in the past. Read More…

How to Install Google Webmaster Tools

First of all, if you don’t know what Webmaster Tools are, I suggest poking around this URL: http://support.google.com/webmasters/?hl=en to get yourself familiar.

If you have an idea what Google Webmaster Tools are, continue to read on. This is a tutorial for setting up said Webmaster Tools.

1. Get a domain and put some content on it. We suggest WordPress if you want a blog. For instructions on setting up WordPress REALLY easily, see this. For more information on getting a domain and server, see: setting up a server.

2. Navigate to Google Webmaster Tools and sign in  Read More…

How to Use Bitly

There comes a time where you have the most legit Tweet you could possibly imagine. Everything’s perfect; it’s catchy, easy to read, funny, and within the 140 character limit. However, you want to post the URL to that picture, but it would put you over the character limit. Enter, Bitly. This is how to use bitly.

How Does Bitly Work?

Bit.ly uses what’s called a 301 redirect. It’s the most efficient method for redirection. A great explanation of how redirects work was found at StackOverFlow. User, Abel, described the process as so:

No, they don’t use files. When you click on a [shortened] link, an HTTP request is sent to there server with the full URL, like http://bit.ly/duSk8wK (not a real one). They read the path part (here duSk8wK), which maps to their database. In the database, they find a description (sometimes), your name (sometimes) and the real URL. Then they issue a redirect, which is a HTTP 301 response and the target URL in the header.

This direct redirect is important. If you were to use files or first load HTML and then redirect, the browser would add TinyUrl to the history, which is not what you want. Also, the site that is redirected to, will see that referrer (the site that you originally come from) as being the site the TinyUrl link is on (i.e., twitter.com, or your own site, wherever the link is). This is just as important, so that site owners can see where people are coming from. This too, would not work if a page gets loaded that redirects.

How to Shorten a Link with Bitly

After signing up with Bit.ly, you should be redirected to your home dashboard. In the upper right, you’ll see a text field that looks like this:

how to use bitly

For manual link shortening, simply paste the original link in the text field and press enter. You will then be displayed the new bit.ly link, that can then be used for Twitter, Facebook, shits n giggles, etc.

WordPress–>Bit.ly–>Twitter

If you’re looking to promote your blog on Twitter, and want to do so automatically every time you publish a post, the following is for you:

  1. Go to your WordPress plugin page. Add new. Search for “WP to Twitter”. Install and activate. 
  2. (I’ll save configuration of other options for another post)
  3. If you scroll down, you’ll see a two input fields for Bit.ly’s services
Bitly options -- WP to Twitter

 

 

 

 

4. Go back to Bitly and your dashboard. Click your username at the top right, click Settings, then Advanced.

5. At the bottom, you’ll see “Legacy API Key”. I did it a while ago so I’m not sure what it says originally, but you’ll be pressing something like “Get my Key” or “Authorize”.

6. Once you have your API Key, you simply copy and paste it into the WP to Twitter config page and you’re done! Tweet away…

 

 

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