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How to blend technology into your professional goals or lifestyle. Use it for quick tips and reference material.

Office Pranks Express

                                                                                                                                                            

Rarely is the question asked ‘is our children learning?’

Alas, an evolving list of some great office pranks.

                                                                                                                                                            

 

November 5, 2012

 

October 29, 2012

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

October 22, 2012

Frozen Desktop: One of the most classic of office pranks, all this trick requires is an unprotected computer and a few minutes. Simply minimize all windows, and click the Print Screen key. Paste that into any editing program (ie: Paint) and then save the file. Now you can set that file as the desktop background. Next thing to do is hide the actual icons on the screen by right clicking, hovering over Align By, and then unchecking Show Desktop Icons.

October 15, 2012

 

How to Find a Business Analyst Job

Google, find me a business analyst job in Los Angeles.

Sure thing, pal…here’s 19 million results. Good luck.

F*ck you, Google.

We’ve discussed how to leverage LinkedIn in order to help your job search.  It’s always helpful to navigate through your own network first in order to refine your search. But let’s say you have a generic major, and you’re still at a crossroads for where to go.

Let us try and help. If you’re reading this blog, then I’ll make a few assumptions about you:

  1. You can’t read. This is good for you because we have terrible content. You’re probably here to search the awesome images we post. Continue on…
  2. You have an interest in technology
  3. You’re a gold-digging cougar hoping to brush up on your tech talk so you can snag a date with some stud like Melvin or Lloyd

That being said, here are our suggestions.

Read More…

How to Generate Revenue While You Peruse Massage Parlors in Thailand

Since Al Gore invented the internet in the year 2000, businesses have had to adapt to a new ecosystem. You don’t necessarily need the pretty sales person, the sparkly clean shop windows or even the act of being physically present. Yup, the whole thing can be automated so that you can generate revenue while you peruse massage parlors in Thailand.

Get your domain name (www.yourdomainname.com) from someone like GoDaddy (always search for awesome coupons first). Set it up with web hosting and you’re almost up and running (keyword: almost). Install WordPress and be sure to get our suggestions for must-have WordPress plugins (Yoast SEO is essential).  Read More…

How to Search for Values in a List Using Excel

It’s a common task for many analysts, and helpful for most people in general, so this post will outline how to search for values in a list using Excel. Let’s say you have a master list in column A. In this example, assume it is a list of current customers who have always paid their bills on time. Now your boss hands you another list, and it’s a list of customers who are late on their current bill. Perhaps they do not want to punish the customers who (to this point) have always paid on time, so it’s your job to find out which of the current ‘late’ customers have historically paid on time. This image below is a simplified version of what you may encounter, but the concept is the same.

Now it’s your job to find out if the late customers (Albert, Missy or Dick) have been good customers in the past. Read More…

Office Pranks: Editing Received Mail in Microsoft Outlook

Office pranks are a huge part of my corporate career. Become a prank artist and suddenly the boredom and bureaucracy at work becomes the ultimate playground.

I find Microsoft Outlook to be a useful pranking tool, since most people have it open all day long, and there’s plenty of freedom to pull a variety of stunts. Here’s how to change the content of a received email.

Let’s say you receive this email from your manager (double click your message, or whatever shortcut you have to open your message in it’s own window):

Now click the Actions dropdown and select Edit Message (shortcut is Alt+H+A+E).

You can go into the message and edit it around.

Note: You can also edit a received message when you reply to a message that was sent to you. But the edited version of that email will only exist after you send your reply. This method allows you to edit and view an email that was sent to you, as if it was untouched and written by the original sender.

Close the window (it will prompt you to Save, so say Yes), or Save first and close.

Your inbox message will now show whatever edits you’ve made…suggestion below.

 

Legal disclaimer: Melvin (and to an extent, Lloyd) do not condone any illegal use of this prank. But if you happen to pull a hilarious prank, please let us know.

How to Analyze Data Using Microsoft Excel

For any profession, the ability to analyze data using Microsoft Excel is essential.

In this post I’ll show you how I was able to look at the Olympic Gold Medal winners (by country), but rank them according to their population or GDP. You’ll be surprised to see the new angle of this.

Now I’ll outline exactly how I did this, because this type of analysis is not beyond the average Excel user.

First I had to accumulate my data sources. Wikipedia is always a good place to start. I did a simple Google search for ‘country medals 2012’, ‘country population’ and ‘country gdp’. Pretty simple, huh? For more difficult searching, check out this article on how to optimize your Google searching. 

I found my 3 lists, with the country names (highlighted in red) being the common denominator across each list. Simply copy paste into Excel, with one list next to the other. This will help me consolidate into a single list later on. This is also why I find Wikipedia useful – because most of their lists follow a similar format and thus you don’t have to tweak the data as much.

 

The next step is to create a single list, although before we get there we need to make sure our common denominator (country) is identical across each list. It’s difficult to tell in this frame, but each country in the Population and GDP list has a space before the country. This simple thing would prevent your lists from consolidating correctly.

To fix it, we’ll use a formula to delete the first character of these cells. Before that, let’s create a bunch of new columns so that we’re all set to build out our analysis.

Notice I expanded the first list to include 2 columns – one for population and one for GDP. Later we’ll use a vlookup formula to pull in the values from the other lists.

To delete the first character in the country cells (for the Population and GDP lists), we’ll use the MID formula, which returns the characters from the middle of a text string, given a starting position and length. We’ll also include the LEN formula, which returns the number of characters in a text string. Enter this in J3:

=MID(L3,2,LEN(L3))

L3 is in the Population list, and it’s the first country listed (” China”). By declaring L3 and then the number 2, we are telling the formula to start in L3, and within L3 to look at the number 2 character. In this case the number 1 character is the blank space, so it will start at “C”. The third part of the MID formula is for the number of characters you want to return (starting at the 2nd character, how many MORE do you want to return). By using LEN, we are telling the formula to return however many characters are actually in the text string ” China”, starting at the 2nd character (“C”). Try this out for the GDP countries as well, and drag the formulas down.

Now that we have a common denominator of country names across all 3 lists, we’ll use vlookup to pull in values for Population and GDP into the first list. Enter this in G3:

=VLOOKUP(B3, $J3:$P244, 4, 0)

What vlookup does is use a lookup value (in this case, B3, which is “United States”) to scan through other lists (Population or GDP lists) and then return a corresponding value (actual population or actual GDP). So what we are asking Excel to do here is look up B3 (“United States”) in the table array $J3:$P244 (entire list for Population). Note here that the first column of your table array (J) needs to be the column that contains your common denominator (country name “United States”). Also note the dollar signs in the array – this is simply to refer to a static table array, rather than shifting the table downwards as you drag your formula down.

Once it finds it (happens to be in J5), we have told the formula to retrieve the 4th column value (which, starting at column J, is returning column M “Population”). The last part of vlookup is rarely used and so I won’t bother to explain. Just put in the number zero. Now, in G3 you should hopefully return this value: 314,168,000. Drag it down and now try to apply the same formula to column H for GDP.

Here’s a snapshot of where we’re at now:

Hopefully you noticed some errors in columns G and H, in the form of “#N/A”. This is common in data analysis, and requires a little manual intervention. If you look at H4, you’ll see this error for the GDP value for China. This is explained by the fact that China is listed as ‘China, People’s Republic’ in the GDP list. Again, this is normal when doing analysis, and there’s no easy way around it for some situations. So what we need to do is filter columns G and H for the “#N/A” values and identify where the issue comes from. Most should be explanatory (another example is G5 and H5 for “Great Britain”, which is listed as “United Kingdom” the other lists).

To further our analysis, we want to compare our 3 lists to one another by using our extended list. We’ll create 4 additional columns.

  1. Gold Medals per Capita
  2. Total Medals per Capita
  3. Price per Gold Medal
  4. Price per Medal

The formulas for these columns will be simple: either Population divided by Gold/Total Medals, or GDP divided by Gold/Total Medals.

Your values should look like this:

If we highlight our country column, and highlight the Gold Medals per Capita column, we can create a helpful scatter plot to illustrate some data analysis. Once you’ve highlighted, go to Insert > Scatter. At this point you should have a graph like the one below, which shows how some countries (ie: Lithuania), although small, performed extremely well considering their actual population. You can create a similar graph for the other columns we created, but for purposes of this post I only explain this one.

To crunch a few numbers, Lithuania secured a gold medal for about every 2 million people who live there. If the USA had that type of efficiency, it’d take home over 150 golds as opposed to 46. China by comparison would take home 637 golds!

Please contact me for specific questions or comments about this.

GoDaddy Coupon Codes

I wanted to write a quick post about something that’s helped me a lot in my internet endeavors. So if you’re like me, you purchase domain names. And if you’re like me, you use GoDaddy, despite their awful commercials. Regardless, there are a couple sites out there with pretty legit GoDaddy coupon codes. Here’s my list of the best:

  1. GoDaddy Coupon Codes
    — OK, so not the most aesthetically pleasing blogs. Shit, it ain’t Selfware. But, notwithstanding their sloppy design and upkeep, they do seem to stay very well updated on the latest GoDaddy Coupon Codes.
  2. GoDaddy Coupon Codes
    — A little more professional, more intuitive. Neat stats like average discount and also pretty decent social functions. Though, nothing quite says you’re cheap like a Facebook status of “JUST SAVED $0.30 on a 6.99 domain name!!! LOLZ”
  3. GoDaddy Coupon Codes
    — This site is if there’s a nuclear holocaust and all servers are down except this one. Still has some relatively updated codes, but use the first two if you’re serious about saving.

How to Enter GoDaddy Coupon Codes

Once you’ve browsed GoDaddy’s site and have found the domain you want. Simply click “Register” to begin the process. There should be about 4-5 steps, most all of them horse-pucky up-selling. If you manage to make it to the final checkout page, hold on for a second. You should see this in the middle-right of the page:
GoDaddy Coupon Code Checkout
Make sure you click “Enter Promo or Source Code” before you checkout. Simply copy/paste, and hit apply. You’ve officially saved marginal money.

“Is there an American male left who still goes to GoDaddy.com expecting to see a half-naked Danica Patrick? In a world filled with so much free Internet porn, why should we even care?” –Courtesy of San Francisco Chronicle

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